War Injury

1

Last night was the first night I spent together with the hoodlums kittens.  So, to demonstrate my displeasure, I decided to show off my old war injury to the humans. 

When the lady human came out of her sleeping room, I tucked my front right paw up to my chest and started hopping on my remaining three legs.  She immediately got worried and started petting me.  Yay!  It worked.  She called to man human and he got worried, too.  Yay!  More sympathy.  I could tell the hoodlums kittens were jealous I was getting all the attention. 

The lady human picked up part of the box that chirps, pushed some buttons, and started talking about me and my war injury.  She put the box down and said something cryptic to the man human:  “Doctor Keith at nine fifteen”.  They both seemed relieved, so just to cause more angst, I slipped into their sleeping room and hid under the bed! 

They went away for a while with the hoodlums kittens, but came back soon enough.  They had to “get ready” because it was “nine o’clock”.  Next thing I know the hoodlums joined me under the bed.  Then the lady human started poking me with the bird on a string.  It was annoying me, so I decided to make my escape!  Unfortunately, I was still playing up my war injury, so I couldn’t get away too fast on my other three legs.  Darn!  The lady grabbed me and put me into the larger portable room.  Hoodlum boy decided to taunt me by sitting outside the jailhouse door.  Meanie. 

Next thing I knew, I was being carried outside to the big shakey box teleporter.  The man and the lady got in the front and started making the shakey box shake.  I was worried they were taking me to another forever home because I had played up my war injury.  After a short time they took me out of the teleporter and everything was different.  Now they took me into a smelly building, which I was hoping wasn’t my new forever home.  It smelled like lots of fellow felines and some doggies had peed, and then someone tried to cover it up. 

The people in the smelly building let me out of the portable room and put me on some platform and called out 10.6!  Something about pounds.

The people put us all in a room and I sat on the man human’s lap to wait for whatever would happen next. 

Me and the man human wait for whatever would happen next.

I thought this might be a good time to tell them about my war injury, but I didn’t quite know how to tell them, so I kept quiet.  Pretty soon, a man came in wearing a white coat.  He talked nice to me and started squeezing my war injury.  Then he put a piece of cold silver with a rubber hose on my chest and moved it around my chest.  It was cold!  Then he said something about wanting to take pictures of my war injury!  Yay!  I get to pose for pictures.  The hoodlums don’t get to have this much fun!

The man in the white coat took me to a dark room where they put on funny jackets and told me not to move!  This must have been the picture taking.  I smiled as best as I could. 

The lady in the purple coat took me back to the humans and then the man in the white coat took the humans with him out to another place.  It wasn’t far away, so I could make out little bits of the conversation.  Things like:

“his medical history started the day you adopted him”

“old trauma on his outside toe in the process of healing”

“notice how the bones don’t line up just right”

“could do something major but would be in the same place six weeks down the road”

“keep him comfortable and let it heal itself”

“running a fever, not related to the fracture”

“make sure he eats”

“give him this once a day”

Other than the indecency of having a cold metal object shoved somewhere totally inappropriate, the whole experience wasn’t so bad. The humans took me home, and the lady gave me some baby food for a snack. I took a long nap becuase after all this action, I was exhausted.