Mom is Nuts

12

There is now a web site called “How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You“.  Unfortunately, our neurotic parental unit stumbled onto this site.  They are now paranoid that we are trying to orchestrate their demise.

::sigh::

Yes, I like to knead on Mom’s squishy belleh and get me some good lap action.

Yes, Meerkat is an expert at staring contests.

Yes, I paw at Mom’s head while she sleeps.

Yes, we hunt for mousies to offer as gifts.

So when Mom took this quiz she FREAKED OUT when she saw the results:

Is your cat plotting to kill you?

Seriously doods, why would I want to kill the Can Opener Lady or the Pooper Scooper Man?  It’s just not in our best interest.

Whatever you do, don’t let your parents take the quiz!

9

Today we were listening to Daddy’s radio show, and he played some song called “Moon River” from some movie called “Breakfast At Tiffany’s”.  Mommy says it’s a movie that stars a cat named Cat, which makes it sound like a good movie in my book.  Daddy was playing songs that some guy named Oscar gave awards to for “best song from a movie”, because Oscar has another show on teevee tonight. On Daddy’s radio show, Daddy normally plays songs from musicals from Broadway and London. Occasionally he plays songs from movies.

I guess Mommy knew to expect the “Moon River” song, so when it came on, she grabbed me, picked me up, and started to slow dance with me. Grrrrrrr. While I like Mommy very much, and I might go so far as to say that I love Mommy, I do NOT like to dance with Mommy. I wriggled free and jumped to the top of the cat perch. I stretched out in the sunbeam. Sigh.

Later Daddy told me that Mommy used to waltz with Mohawk to “Moon River”. Poor Mohawk. Luckily I made my escape before she started waltzing!

4

Gee, thanks Mao, and Annie, too.

Mom says because of all the missing kitties in the Blogosphere lately, that Padre, Meerkat, and I have to wear these dorky collars with dangly circle thingys on them. Apparently, Mom wrote our names and their phone number on the dangly circle thingys. She says that it is so that in case we ever escape that we could be returned home safely.

My dorky red collar

Mom even had the nerve to say to Dad that I “am a flight risk”. Wth? I don’t have wings! What is she talking about, dudes? Just because I like to try to sneak out the door to give her a warm sendoff when she leaves for work? Mom won’t let me escort her to the room that moves that is sitting in the driveway, she always shoves me back inside. Doesn’t she understand that I am just trying to be a gentleman?

To top things off, Meerkat got her collar stuck in her mouth, while she was wearing it! It took both Dad and Mom to rescue my poor sister from the Evil Collar Monster. At least Meerkat got a really good bite on Mom’s finger, as well as digging one of her claws into another finger!! Heh.

Later, the collar dangly thing somehow managed to get stuck on one of my teeth!! Again, it took Dad to rescue me from the Evil Collar Monster.

Padre also has to wear a collar. He tried to get his off at first too, then has largely ignored it. What a wuss! We need to have a unified front here, and I don’t take kindly to traitors. Maybe I should put the bitey on him…

In other news, I received word that I am officially a Tuxedo Gang Hideout Member!! Of course I am thrilled!! More about this later. This is what the logo looks like for the Tuxedo Gang:

New Tuxedo Gang Hideout Member

But how humiliating that now that I am finally in a gang, that I have to be seen wearing this dorky collar!

I think that tonight while she is asleep, I will give Mom the bitey… or maybe I should poop on her pillow… decisions… decisions…

P.S. Mom told me that I had to mention that Padre, Meerkat, Mom, Dad, and I are so relieved that Mao is back, safe and sound. Still, we are worried about Annie being away. We are purring and praying for her safe return.