Tormenting

8

Hi kittehs!

It’s me, Padre.

You know, the handsome ManCat Furry Bambino.

On Fursday, I was shoved into my PTU and taken to the V-E-T.

Daddy tried to comfort me.

Then Daddy and Mommy left me at the V-E-T and went home wiffout me! Meerkat was looking for me out the front window.

Dr. Amy, the V-E-T, stoled 8 of my toofies. EIGHT. All at once. Mommy and Daddy told her it was OK.  Here’s the report on my toofies. My toofies were in pretty bad shape.

Dr. Amy said that I did really well, and I have to fank her for doing such a good job. And for giving me such good medicashuns to make the pain in my mouf go away.

I got to go home the same day.

As soon as I got home, Mommy and Daddy gave me some yummy albacore tuna!

Dr. Amy said to keep me in a separate room at first, so Mommy and Daddy set up my bachelor pad in the foster kitten room. The point was to keep the other Furry Bambinos from giving me a hard time because I smelled like the V-E-T office. The tail going into the PTU is not mine. So does that give you an idea of how well keeping us separate worked?

After about 20 minutes, I decided that I did not want to be confined to the foster kitten room against my will any longer. So I knocked over the baby gate and went downstairs.

There were NO CRUNCHIES in my bachelor pad!

Dr. Amy said that I have to eat soft food for 10 days after surgery. That is like, forever! So I went looking for crunchies downstairs. THE DOWNSTAIRS CRUNCHIES BOWLS ARE MISSING!!!

Kittehs, it’s going to be a long 10 days.

This is what my mouf looked like before surgery. One of my toofies that Dr. Amy stole is my left top fang pictured below. It was brokefied.

Below, I will show you my toofies that Dr. Amy gave Mommy and Daddy. She said that I could give my toofies to the Toof Fairy.

In case you are kind of squeamish, you can look away.

WARNING!

PADRE’s REMOVED TOOFIES BELOW!

LAST CHANCE TO LOOK AWAY!

OK!

HERE THEY ARE!

Toof Fairy, I really don’t want my toofies back. You can keep ’em. And I don’t want moneys for my toofies, eiffer.

What I really want are my CRUNCHIES back.

And tell Mommy and Daddy to stop it already with shoving medicashuns into my mouf.

8

Greetings, furriends, it’s Padre here. Yesterday morning, I overheard Mom calling the V-E-T about an appointment for me! When I could tell that Mom was in getting ready to leave the house mode, I tried a clever delay tactic by sitting on the clothes that she had placed on the bed to wear.

Alas, it did not stop her from picking me up against my will and forcibly placing me into the PTU! Immediately I voiced my complaints, which were ignored. As it turned out, Caramel was already in another PTU. Mom and Dad then took us to the grey room that moves, and then we left the safety of home!

As expected, we wound up at the V-E-T. Here we are in the waiting room on the bench.

Mom is upset that I have been horking up my foods lately. Doesn’t she know this is part of the Cat Code of Ethics to hork up one’s food on a regular basis? Methinks she worries too much.

Well, I tried the technique of trying to make myself as small as possible, maybe even invisible, as not to be seen, by facing the rear corner of the PTU.

No such luck. They found me and pulled me out.

My weight is the same as always, 13.0 pounds, a good weight for a medium sized mancat like myself. See, no cause for concern!

Dr. Amy decided I have some tooth problems, but those will be addressed at another time. (I hope that Mom forgets about that.) Dr. Amy took me to a back room where I was stabbed in the back! You just can’t trust these V-E-T’s! She said they gave me fluids because I was dehydrated. Hmpf! Why didn’t she just offer me a drink? Nooooo, they stab you in the back. And she gave me two shots!

I was returned to the PTU, and then Caramel was given the business. Just in case they had ideas of pulling me out again, I went back into hiding.

When we got home, I was quite relieved to be out of that PTU. However, we weren’t home long before Mom announced to Dad to “grab Padre”! Yikes! Dad held me while Mom shoved some vile tasting liquid down my throat!

To top things off, instead of giving me my favorite crunchies (Fancy Feast Royal Gold Turkey), Mom gave me some prescription crap instead. ::sigh::

Caramel had a horrible experience as well, but I will let her tell you about it herself in her own post.

5

Thanks to all of you who stopped by for our House Trashing Party!  Mom and Dad really have some cleaning up to do!

In other news, yesterday morning Meerkat, Padre, and I were on Mouse Patrol!  I managed to wriggle my way into the fireplace (through a closed fireplace chain-link screen) to sniff the mousie out.  Upon my triumphant return following the mousie into the living room, I expected to receive praise and accolades for my bravery and mousing acumen.

Nope.  Instead, Mom grabbed me, and she and Dad gave me a BATH.  A human-style shower.  Complete with running water.  In the kitchen sink.

Apparently, they didn’t think I could lick myself clean.  Mommy was upset that I was no longer a tuxedo kitty, but a black cat.  (Not that there’s anything wrong with being a black cat.)

After getting me thoroughly saturated, Dad wrapped me in a soft towel and dried me off.

But I still needed to groom my furs back into place.  Especially my tail furs.

So I settled in the fambly room and began the process of realigning my furs into position. Padre was more freaked out about the whole bath thing than I was.  He came over to give me a good sniff.

Grooming grooming grooming …

Luckily, Meerkat and Padre continued the pursuit of the mousie after I was waylaid by the bath.  When Dad tried to resecure the fireplace, that’s when he finally saw the mousie.  Padre and Meerkat told Dad to just grab the mousie in his teeths.  Instead, Dad left the scene to retrieve his human style mouse catching equipment (plastic tub and flattened Cheerios box).  Dad captured the mousie in the corner of the living room.

Meerkat inspected the mousie in the plastic container.  You can tell she is really craving a taste of mouse between her teeth and gums.

Then Dad went outside and released the mousie into the garden.

I am plotting my revenge for the bath, and for the release of the mousie …

4

“Shot in the leg,
And they’re to blame,
Mommy and Daddy give love a bad name!”

Well, I have to report that Mommy and Daddy are EVIL.  To start off the new year, they locked us in our PTU’s yesterday morning, and put us in The Room That Moves.  I was lucky to get one all to myself, while Meerkat and Panda Bear got squeezed into one.

We had no idea where we were going, until we stopped and Mommy and Daddy started carrying us into a place that smelled eerily familiar.

They took us to the V-E-T !!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, the horrors!

First the lady in the red clothes took us out one at a time.  She put us on a flat surface and called out a number.  For me, she said “thirteen point six pounds”.  Aaaack!  She was weighing us!

For the record, Panda bear was 12.6, and Meerkat was 10.4.  (padre! how dares you.  a lady doesn’t ever tell her age or her weight.  i am offended!  Love, Meerkat.)

After the weighing came the waiting. That was exploration time!  Mommy held me close and started babbling about how good of a kitty I was, but I was itching to escape.

Then, she tried to calm down Meerkat.  As you can see, Meerkat was simply terrified.

Panda Bear, however, was “Mr. Adventure”.  First he stood on the table and sniffed around.

Then he tried to sniff the other corner of the room.  Luckily he didn’t try to jump up!

Then, he started doing his acrobatics.  What a showoff:

This time we saw a lady named “Dr. Jillian”.  She took each of us one at a time and started “examining” us.  I hid in my carrier, but I know she took Panda Bear first.  It was hard to see what was happening, but I did hear a loud pop! at one point.

Then she took Meerkat.  No pop for her.

Then it was my turn.   Mommy had to yank me hard out of my PTU.  I didn’t want to go!

Then I was in their grasp.  Dr. Jillian squeezed my belly.  She put a piece of cold metal on me and held it there for a few seconds.  The lady with the red clothes held me really, really tightly … and then … Dr. Jillian squeezed some of my furs … and SHE SHOT ME IN THE LEG!  OOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Then she shot me AGAIN!

Then she flipped me over and shot me ONE MORE TIME … this last time with a loud poppy sounding shooter in my back right leg.  Same sound as I heard with Panda Bear.  Hoomph!   Something about being to protect against “loo-kee-mee-uh”.

Then the lady with the red clothes started picking at my teeths!  Dr. Jillian said I have “tartar buildup” and a little bit of “gingeevitus” … whatever that is.  My teeths feel fine.  Hoomph!

Finally, I was able to get back in my PTU.  Panda Bear and Meerkat were directly across from me in their PTU.  They were both looking sleepy at this point, and I was feeling a little tired, too.

Next thing I know we were being carried back out to The Room That Moves.  Not long afterward Mommy and Daddy carried us back into the house and opened the doors to the PTU’s.

Yay!  Freedom!

Pretty soon I was feeling sleepy.  So was Panda Bear.  He really zonked out and barely moved for many hours, which made Mommy and Daddy a little worried.  He must have got shot worse than I did.

Eventually, he turned around, and then moved to another part of the house.

That was our start to this new year.  I overheard Mommy saying that we have to go back to be shot again in a few weeks.  I’ve already started planning my escape route.

17

Mom has this really annoying thing that she does.  She walks around the house looking for one of us Furry Bambinos, while calling out “Who wants a hug?”

That’s our cue to vamos, hide, and make ourselves scarce.

If she finds one of us, she grabs us, picks us up, and given a human style hug.  Blech!

Mom, we are cats.  We do not want to be hugged.  Petted, scritched, told how beyootifull we are, YES. Hugged, NO!  You are destroying my image as a Big Man Cat!

Padre Man Cat

If you do it again, I am calling the ASPCA.

2

Hi Efurrybody!

We have been hard at work on the post-production for our new film MY Catnip Bananer”!  We shot all the footage recently and have been synching up the music with the images.  It’s very exciting!

Daddy went and made us a poster for our film, too!  Here is a copy of the poster for you to see!

Our upcoming movie!

We hope you will join us for the movie premiere on Tuesday!  It will be so exciting!

9

Today we were listening to Daddy’s radio show, and he played some song called “Moon River” from some movie called “Breakfast At Tiffany’s”.  Mommy says it’s a movie that stars a cat named Cat, which makes it sound like a good movie in my book.  Daddy was playing songs that some guy named Oscar gave awards to for “best song from a movie”, because Oscar has another show on teevee tonight. On Daddy’s radio show, Daddy normally plays songs from musicals from Broadway and London. Occasionally he plays songs from movies.

I guess Mommy knew to expect the “Moon River” song, so when it came on, she grabbed me, picked me up, and started to slow dance with me. Grrrrrrr. While I like Mommy very much, and I might go so far as to say that I love Mommy, I do NOT like to dance with Mommy. I wriggled free and jumped to the top of the cat perch. I stretched out in the sunbeam. Sigh.

Later Daddy told me that Mommy used to waltz with Mohawk to “Moon River”. Poor Mohawk. Luckily I made my escape before she started waltzing!